Simple, well sorta.

The answer is simple: Dedication because of love.

The action is tough.

This week I've come face to face with my imperfection as a human.

It sucked.

Period.

It sucked to watch a dream be laid down, to watch my “perfect” little plan of how life should go come to a quick death. To realize the ending of a journey that my heart longed to continue.

This week I was faced with my failure to be dedicated. I watched as all my fancy words were defeated by cowardice acts of self pity.

I watched as my standards were washed away by waves of “logical” thinking motivated by pure laziness.

What was I left with? The reality that I'm human. That I need God in every moment and that the battle I've entered is so much harder than any I have ever faced.

I've come to realize that it is often in the times of “normal” life that we face the toughest and most fierce of battles. It's in the moment when we could easily accept the ordinary that the battle to choose the extraordinary becomes so difficult.

When we start to believe the lie that we can't be as close to God unless we are serving Him in what we see as “active” ministry. That we can't have hunger and passion for God unless we are surrounded by people that are full of passion and hunger.

It's into this horrible trap that I tumbled this week. Thankfully God hasn't given up on me and loves to draw me back when I go after my own desires. Today God did that. Today, I was reminded of the story of Daniel.

If anyone had an excuse to not be passionate and full of fire for God Daniel would be it. Taken from his home as a captive while he was still a teenager, Daniel lived in a land full of evil men that knew nothing of God's way. The Bible mentions only three other Godly men besides Daniel when he enters captivity.

What does Daniel do?

Does He cry out at the injustice of it all and decide to follow his own desires? Nope, he sets himself apart and follows after God throughout his life of captivity. From the beginning when he asks to be fed only vegetables and water so as to not defile himself with unclean food, to when he prays and fasts for 21 days before getting a response, Daniel stays dedicated to God.

What if I could live like that? A life so dedicated that even in a land full of ungodly men (of which Lancaster County PA is certainly not!) I would continue to have passion and dedication to God. It challenged me to look past this momentary time.

To be honest I don't like the phase of life I am in.

It's tough.

It's dry.

And it's horribly familiar to how I felt before I left for DTS.

But the question is not what I will do to make myself feel the way I did a couple weeks ago, the question is how I will use this new phase of life to bring God glory, grow in my relationship with Him, and love the people around me with the love God has so lavishly given to me.

The question is what is God doing

Right here.

Right now.

And how can I be apart of it.

It's time to make the main thing the main thing again, and embrace the new that God is doing in my life with the knowledge that He is working it all out for good. All I have to do is obey.

Simple.

And not so simple.