Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Trust.

Trust. Sometimes we wonder about how much we trust God. Or how much trust we are willing to put in God. It is easy to say, I trust God, when everything is going well in life, the challenge is when things seem out of control. When you can doing nothing but wait, waiting with a desperate hope that this God you pledged your life to is as faithful as He says He is. Sometimes its in those moments of intense desperation that we get to really see how much we actually trust God. Its in the moments of tense pressure and the opportunity to worry that we see if we have really invested in our relationship with God. The past few days have been a time of stress for me, climaxing with finding out today that what I had thought was a minor eye infection on Sunday turned out to be an extreme infection in one of my eyes. The infection has the potential to permanently damage my eye. (even to the point of blindness.)  So the question is swirling in my mind, am I going to trust God and rest in the peace of knowing he is in control, or do go into self-pity and worry.
I was crying out to God last night, asking Him to move, to intervene, and make the pain stop. It was in that moment of intense prayer, when I felt so helpless that God spoke, in a quiet voice. "I'm right here. and I've got you." It was then that God began to just tell me gently "I'm here, David, and I've been here the entire time. I'm gonna walk through this with you." From that moment on God has given me peace and trust, trust that is struggling to be like Jesus's trust when He said:   "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done." Matthew 26:42. Trusting God goes beyond simple saying "I believe you can heal me." it goes to saying even if I don't get healed I will praise God and trust that he has a plan through everything. I could lose my vision, but if my heart trusts God in a way I couldn't possibly do with vision in my eye, than I think it would be worth it. Its that trusting in God that Jesus showed in the climax of all possible human suffering. If I could have but a fraction of that trust I know that I could see God move in impossible ways in my life. I know God can completely heal me. And I want Him to, but there is a strange peace in knowing that God will be moving whether He heals it or not. 
     So prayer would be appreciated in these next 24 hours. I am going to the eye doctor again tomorrow which could be the deciding moment of whether the damage is permanent or not. So I'd love as much prayer as I can get, not just that God would heal me but that I would trust in Him no matter what the outcome 


2 comments:

  1. Definitely praying for you David. God has blessed you so much through this, how encouraging! Sending our love and prayers from Canada!

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  2. This my friend, I commend you for, your RADICAL, Andy-Byrd-esque faith:
    "I could lose my vision, but if my heart trusts God in a way I couldn't possibly do with vision in my eye, than I think it would be worth it."

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